"Would that Rome had but one neck!" The mad Roman Emperor, Caligula, regretted the inefficiency of chopping off heads one at a time. Not a bad idea, if we apply it to Washington, DC. Caligula also appointed a horse to the Roman Senate but, unlike the people of Massachusetts, he appointed the entire horse. Massachusetts elected Ted Kennedy.

Medical Savings Accounts (MSA's) would cut health care costs, make patients free to choose their doctors, and be portable between jobs. They would cut HMO administrators and insurance companies out of health care decisions. Ted Kennedy, and his President, are blocking legislation that would create MSA's. The insurance companies and HMO stockholders must love Bill and Ted's excellent misadventure.

Welfare reform is one of this Congress' few high spots, but Ted Kennedy says reform is cruel to welfare recipients. What about cruelty to productive workers and taxpayers? Society should protect those who cannot support themselves. Anyone can suffer disability, or have a seriously ill or handicapped child. An economic depression can throw anyone out of work. Why, however, should taxpayers subsidize illegal aliens, or people who refuse to work? Why should the system reward people for having children they don't plan to support, and leaving them on the taxpayer's doorstep?

Congress wants to protect American cities from nuclear, chemical, or biological attack by rogue governments. Specific programs include the THAAD (Theatre High Altitude Air Defense), and an improvement of the Navy's Aegis system. Bill Clinton says he wants to protect us from terrorism, but he is blocking THAAD and the improved Aegis.

Bill Clinton approved a tax hike on Social Security benefits to punish retirees who saved for their retirements. Such retirees must now pay income tax on up to 85% of their benefits. This is double taxation since the government forced them to pay into the system with after-tax dollars. This alone shows Bill Clinton's unfitness to be President, and Bob Dole says he will repeal this tax.

Robert Dole seems like a man of character and integrity, but he is too tolerant of cigarette manufacturers. The tobacco companies cause more than $20 billion a year in health care spending. We pay for this through taxes and health insurance premiums. The tobacco companies kill more than 300,000 people a year, and ruin countless lives with emphysema. Like drug dealers, loan sharks, and pimps, the tobacco growers and cigarette makers have to do something for a living. As Clint Eastwood's character Josey Wales said to the bounty hunter, "Dying ain't much of a living, boy." The cigarette companies belong in the gutter, and legislators with any character and integrity would put them there. Florida's Governor, Lawton Chiles, has the right idea. Make the tobacco companies pay for all tobacco-related illnesses.

The Republicans had a chance to sweep the coming elections. Unfortunately, their Congress squandered its mandate on nonissues like prayer in schools and flag burning. This is why Bill Clinton is ahead in the polls, when he should be packing his bags for Arkansas. The First Amendment guarantees everyone the right to pray, or not pray, whenever and wherever they want, as long as they do not disturb or harass others. Teachers should not lead students in prayer, since this implies a state-sanctioned religion. However, I recall that my high school's optional clubs included a Bible study group. Meanwhile, if social disapproval is not enough to discourage people from burning the American flag, we are in serious trouble.

Congress has "suddenly discovered" that Social Security will go bankrupt in the early 21st century. Congress has known for decades that Social Security is a criminally fraudulent pyramid system. It also would be a criminal offense for a private corporation to commingle its pension fund with its operating budget, but the government commingled Social Security funds with general revenues. It would be securities fraud for a corporation to use a pension fund surplus to mask an operating deficit, but this is how Congress reports its budget to the American people.

Congress forced American workers to pay into Social Security. If you people in Washington now tell us the money won't be there when we retire, no excuse you offer can possibly interest us. You had better figure out where to get the money. Cut your salaries and benefits, cut your favorite programs and subsidies, but get the money. If you can't fix it, you belong on the street, and we will vote to put you there. Maybe Caligula was right, after all. One neck, and make sure you appoint the entire horse…