Million Mom March Commemorative (5/14/00)
unofficial Handgun Control Incorporated/
Violence Policy Center/ Bell Campaign
Rape Mitigation Kit
(C) 2000 Permission is granted to print, copy, and distribute
hard (non-electronic) copies of this page freely and without royalties
of any kind, provided that it is not altered in any manner. The page is
formatted so it will fit on a single 8.5 by 11 inch sheet. It may be photocopied,
folded in thirds, taped to form a letter-sized piece, and mailed to anyone
whom you think it would interest- and they are encouraged to similarly
copy and distribute it. Image
credits: http://www.stentorian.com/credits.html
Rape is an ugly, degrading, and violent crime. Rapists
are usually much bigger and stronger than their female victims, but they're
no match for handguns. Handgun Control Incorporated, the Violence Policy
Center, and the Bell Campaign will all tell you, however, that handguns
are bad. So we've come up with this handgun replacement:
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Much, much cheaper than a handgun!
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Much lighter, too! Less than an ounce, versus a few pounds
for a gun.
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No license needed to carry, even in Washington DC!
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Extra ones can be used for consensual relations with your
significant other; extra bullets just go to waste.
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Reduces the risks of unwanted pregnancy, venereal disease,
and AIDS that are associated with rape!
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Ribbed and lubricated for YOUR pleasure, so you can LIE
BACK AND ENJOY IT!
All you need to do is ask (did we misspell "beg?") your assailant to put
one on before he violates your body! Now, you may have some doubts as to
whether your attacker, who won't take "No" for an answer, will comply with
your request. Rest assured that he will; after all, Handgun Control Incorporated,
the Violence Policy Center, and the Bell Campaign all assure you that he
will:
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Obey laws that require him to get a license to possess a handgun-- or refrain
from doing so if prior felony convictions disqualify him
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Register his handgun
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Use a trigger lock on his handgun
COMING: Deluxe Rape Mitigation Kit. Includes an "instant
ice pack" in case your attacker bites your lips and suggests, "You'd better
put some ice on that."
"Chieftain" is a fictitiouos brand. Does not imply any
company's endorsement of this or any other political position.