Once
upon a time, a group of mothers decided they were fed up with gun violence.
They called themselves the Million Mom March, and they marched to Washington
to demand "common sense" gun control: licensing of gun owners, and gun
registration. They didn't realize that they were being used and exploited--
by the people who are in the business of selling cat bells, snake oil,
and other feel-good cures for gun violence. Handgun Control Incorporated
is happy to accept the mice's money and voices. Politicians like Bill and
Hillary Clinton, Albert Gore, Dianne Feinstein, and Ted Kennedy all want
the mice's votes. And look at all the good it's doing those mice:
"Hey,
ya hear dat, Felonius? Da little mice are gonna put bells on us, ain't
dat a laugh!"
"Yeah, Crackhead! Maybe they think we're gonna obey laws that require us to get firearm licenses and register our guns-- just like we already obey laws against murder, robbery, rape, and kidnapping! Ha, ha, ha!"
"They're gonna make us buy trigger locks to protect kids. I'll have to remember to lock up the next rod I steal, unless da dope I'm on makes me forget."
"Da
little mice don't realize they're doing us a favor. They're gonna make
it harder for honest citizens to get guns."
"We cats don't like it when mice have guns, because guns make mice as 'big' as cats. Go for it, little mice! Buy those cat bells and that snake oil from Handgun Control Inc. and your Apple Pie Award winner, Bill Clinton!"
Bill Clinton: "I am foremost in respecting women's rights and dignity as