"This is Julie"

• Poltrooni Cowardus Pusillanimis
• Liberalis Limousini, the Limousine Liberal
• Prevaricator Mendacious Perfidious

"This Is Julie," by Bill Kelly Published: 9/2/99 Bill Kelly's Witness for the Right page "This is Julie" at Bill Kelly's site

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Hi, c'mon in. I need to show you something. This is Julie...... Yes, she is very pretty when she sleeps. Can you believe she worries about her weight? ..... I know. It's crazy. Don't worry about making noise. First, she sleeps like a log. Between being a full-time nursing student and working at a halfway home for people with disabilities, she stays very busy. Secondly, if we could wake her now, maybe she could stop... Well .. you'll see. No, don't worry. I'm okay. Well, you see. Right now, her phone line is being cut. This trailer actually belongs to her brother-in-law. He lived here as a bachelor. When he married her older sister, they moved to an apartment. They plan to build a house on this land someday, but .... well ... they might change their mind. Yeah, the trailer is pretty old. Her brother-in-law couldn't have gotten enough to make it worth selling. It wouldn't have rented for enough to make it worth the hassle of dealing with renters. When she finished her freshman year in the dorms, he offered it to her rent-free. Her dad built the deck in the back. He built it in sections back home and hauled it up here in his truck. He and her brother-in-law assembled it. It works pretty well for her. She's about twenty minutes from campus and fifteen minutes from work. She never had the time, money, or inclination to join a sorority. Even regular apartment life can have more distractions. You heard that? Yeah, so did I. Julie did too. See? She's stirring; opening her eyes. The guy who cut her phone lines just broke in the back door. It really didn't make that much noise. The doors on these trailers aren't very solid.  The one bad thing about the deck is that it gave him a little more solid footing when he did it. He's walking into the living room pretty carefully. He's not really worried, he's just spent so much of his life sneaking around that he's always a little stealthy. Yep, her eyes are wide open now. She's not certain whether she heard something or whether she just had a dream.  Yeah, her teeth are chattering a little. He sees the extension cord running from the socket to the lamp over her favorite chair. That's where she likes to sit when she reads. The lamp cord didn't reach any outlets from that corner. He's unplugging the lamp, but he decided just to jerk the cord from the wall. Yep, she heard that. She's picking up the phone, but there's no dial tone.  He already took care of that. She sits up in bed. Unfortunately, her cell phone is in the kitchen with her purse. It might not matter. The real phone would have instantly told the police where she was, and they could have been here in ten minutes. With the cell phone, she would have to give the address. Speaking clearly when you're this terrified isn't easy. Maybe the police would get here and maybe they wouldn't. She wishes she had listened to her father. He wanted her to bring a gun.  He taught her to shoot a couple of years ago, and she knows how to handle his old .38 pretty well. Still, she refused to bring a gun. You see - Julie's only 19, and the federal government has now made it a crime for 19-year-olds to have a gun. No, she realizes that if she kept quiet about it she'd probably never be caught or never prosecuted if she were caught. However, she believes in obeying the law, and she doesn't want to take a chance on having a criminal record. The guy walking down her hall with a knife in one hand and the extension cord in the other is 19 also. He can't legally own a gun either, but that wouldn't stop him. The only reason he doesn't have a gun is that he doesn't need one for what he has in mind.                 According to our government, Julie can have a gun in two years. Unfortunately, ..... no, I shouldn't say that. It isn't a matter of "fortune," "luck," "chance," or anything like that. This situation resulted from a deliberate decision by our government. What I was going to say was that Julie doesn't have two years. She has about forty horrible minutes.

The Bell Campaign, which recently adopted the Million Mom March-- and possibly some impending tax problems. Sarah Brady, who speaks with forked tongue about gun death statistics Perhaps Bill Clinton, who was credibly accused of imposing his own "Chuckie Schumer" on an unwilling woman (Juanita Hickey Broaddrick) sympathizes with the 19-year old perpetrator who, according to the Million Mom March, is only a "child" and is therefore not responsible for his actions. Hillary Clinton's friend Al Sharpton is doubtlessly grateful that the Jewish residents of Crown Heights didn't have access to guns when rioters invaded that neighborhood and killed a Jew. Bill says, "Too bad about Julie, she was sort of cute. She might have made a good White House intern." Senator Dianne Feinstein (D-CA) used her power and influence to get a pistol permit when she received a bomb threat in California. She doesn't think people like Julie should have guns, though. Albert Gore Handgun Control Incorporated, which lies to its members and the public Ted "A Blonde in Every Pond" Kennedy, whose bodyguards carry machine guns The Million Mom March, which may have abused its 501(c)(3) tax exempt status to endorse political candidates while soliciting corporate contributions for the same purpose. The Million Mom March T-shirt says, "Scribble out the gun with a marker and paint pretty colors." I'm sure Julie's attacker followed these instructions: Anyway, if those "children" the Million Moms talk about get much older, the Million Mom March will be defining its President and Apple Pie Award winner as a statutory rapist, because Monica Lewinsky was only 22. Rosie O'Donnell, master of ceremonies for the Million Mom March. She doesn't have to worry about Julie's fate because she doubtlessly lives in a wealthy and possibly gated community, and she probably has armed bodyguards. Anyway, most violent sexual predators aren't zoophiles... Here's a 137K .WAV of what I understood of Rosie's speech to the Million Mom March. The Million Mom March said, "We're not about banning handguns," but it's obvious that they left a word out of this sentence. Rosie O'Donnell said, "I don't care if you want to hunt. I don't care if you think it's your right. I say:  Sorry, it's 1999. We have had enough as a nation. You are not allowed to own a gun, and if you do own a gun I think you should go to prison." So what the Million Moms obviously meant was, "We're not about banning only handguns." Anyway, Rosie, we've had enough of you, and we think you should renounce your American citizenship and get out of our country. You'd be happier in a country like Singapore or Malaysia that has the kind of laws you want. Senator Charles Schumer (D-NY), also known as "Putzhead." It's time to give the "Richards" of the world a break by calling Bill Clinton's favorite appendage a "Chuckie Schumer." It's easy to remember because Schumer starts with the same three letters as "schmuck," which is synonymous with "putzhead." Donna Dees-Thomases, Friend of Hill's (via Susan Thomases, Hillary Clinton's close friend and advisor), and organizer of the Million Mom March, lied to her marchers, sponsors, and media contacts about the number of children who die in gun-related incidents. The Violence Policy Center, which declared openly its intention to lie to the public about "semiautomatic rifles" Image credits and copyright

Sideshow Freak Exhibit: some creatures that might find what happened to Julie acceptable

Poltrooni Cowardus Pusillanimis

This invertibrate species can be identified by its yellow ventral and white dorsal coloration. Despite its similarity to annelids, or worms, it has a single-ended digestive system. Its mouth must double as an anus because it lacks an intestine; that is, it is gutless. It was rarely found in ancient societies, where it would have been exterminated quickly and thus prevented from passing either its genes or its values to future generations. However, it is more common in today's society, where it gets rudimentary protection from police forces (although courts have ruled that police have no legal duty to protect individual citizens) and national armies. It is therefore not only able to breed, but to attempt to impose its value system on the rest of society.

• A middle school principal in Michigan allegedly pressed his students to sign a "Red Letter," which pledged them to never use violence even in self-defense.

• Women: beware of taking one of these creatures for a male member of species homo sapiens. They sometimes walk upright and attempt to imitate human males in efforts to date and even marry women. However, human males will generally protect their female companions and especially their mates if the odds are fair (and sometimes even if they're not). The above specimens would not even use a firearm against a knife-wielding thug to protect a female companion (or a child), so their claim to being men is dubious at best.
• Men: Many years ago, men were expected to be protective of women. Now, with woman's equality, it would be reasonable for a man to expect his wife or female companion to use a firearm against an attacker (or gang) that was overpowering him. He also should be able to count on her to shoot a man who is trying to rape their eleven year old daughter. Remember that natural selection culls species that won't protect their young from the gene pool. You might want to think twice before dating, let alone breeding with, female specimens of Poltrooni Cowardus Pusillanimis.

Specimens of Poltrooni Cowardus Pusillanimis

• Rosie O'Donnell, who has a private security guard who recently applied for a gun permit. If Ms. O'Donnell really cared about her safety and her children's safety, she'd buy a gun herself and take lessons in its safe and effective use. (We already know she's a two-bit hypocrite, it wouldn't make her look any worse to show up on a range with a 9 mm or a .38, hearing protection, and targets.) Jeff Cooper (To Ride, Shoot Straight, and Speak the Truth) said that a person is his or her own best protection, and that you don't get West Point graduates for what rent-a-cops usually get. Machiavelli's Art of War (less well known than The Prince) says that you can't pay a man enough to make him willing to die for you. That is, in a real life-threatening situation, your rent-a-cop(s) could decide, "I/We just work here," and bug out.
• Ted Kennedy, whose bodyguard was detained (but not prosecuted) for trying to bring a machine gun into a Federal government building. It's hard to imagine this rich man's boy who never did a lick of honest work in his life touching anything made of steel, whether it be a hand tool or a firearm.
• Can't classify hypocrite Dianne Feinstein as one, at least she carried her gun herself.

Liberalus Limousini

This species is often upper middle class or wealthy. Its usual habitat is a good neighborhood, university, or gated community. It prides itself on voicing its supports for "civil rights," and it frequently indulges in support for affirmative action preferences for Blacks and other minorities. However, it, like the Ku Klux Klan and other white supremacist organizations really thinks Blacks are naturally violent and cannot be trusted with firearms, as shown by its frequent use of the racist code phrase* "Negrotown Saturday Night Special." To the Liberalus Limousini, Black people are fine as long as they stay in the 'hood and out of those white suburban neighborhoods (except as servants, maintenance workers, chauffeurs, lawn jockeys, and so on). The Liberalus Limousini may voice its objection to racial profiling by local police but, given its frequent calls for bans on "Negrotown Saturday Night Specials," it is probably privately happy about this practice. (More on the pig motif: see George Orwell's Animal Farm for the general idea. Pigs = Orwellian ruling class, with special privileges. "All animals are equal, but some animals are more equal than others.")

The Million Mom March featured one of these abnormalities: a piglike thing stood on its hind legs and grunted (140K .WAV) something about "giving birth to a movement." "Movements" like the one of which it spoke do not come from the birth canal; if they did, they'd be excellent arguments for late-term and even retroactive abortions. Said freak has also made noises like, "I don't care if you want to hunt. I don't care if you think it's your right. I say:  Sorry, it's 1999. We have had enough as a nation. You are not allowed to own a gun, and if you do own a gun I think you should go to prison."

Specimen Rosie O'Donnell doesn't think commoners and peasants should have guns, but she has a private security guard who recently applied for a gun permit, and she lives in a gated community. Her position is clear; her life and safety are important because she's a wealthy celebrity, but it doesn't matter if a working-class or even a professional-level woman gets raped, battered, and perhaps killed because of the gun laws that Ms. O'Donnell supports. Other specimens of Liberalis Limousini:

• Carl "Gun Laws are for Everybody but Me" Rowan of the Washington Post
• Ted "Machine Gun" Kennedy, also known as "A Blonde in Every Pond" Kennedy
• Senator Dianne Feinstein (D-CA)

* "Code phrases" are sometimes used to express ideas that would be unacceptable in decent society. Consider an expensive restaurant that wants to hire a white woman as a hostess. The restaurant can't tell an employment agency, "We want a white hostess, not a Black or a Hispanic." This would be illegal and, if word got out, it would rightly cost them a lot of business. Instead, it tells the employment agency, "We want to hire Betsy, not Tawana or Maria." Similarly, members of the wealthy elite are above saying, "We don't want Blacks to have guns." Instead, they say, "We have to do something about those cheap handguns; we must outlaw Saturday Night Specials." This was in fact the approach of the 19th century white supremacists who coined the term, "Negrotown Saturday Night Special" ("Negro" wasn't the word they used). They passed laws to outlaw the possession of inexpensive guns that might be purchased by working-class Blacks, immigrants (Irish, Poles, Italians), and so on.

Prevaricator Mendacious Perfidious

This creature is easily recognized by its two faces and forked tongue. It is often capable of concealing the odor of its sacklike body, although these flies are not fooled in the least; they know what's inside that sack. This particular specimen of Prevaricator Mendacious Perfidious is saying that 13 children a day are killed by firearm misuse, and that it didn't have sex with Monica Lewinsky. Specimens include:

• Donna Dees-Thomases, organizer of the Million Mom March, which lied to its sponsors, marchers, and media contacts about "12 children a day" being killed by firearm misuse
• Rosie O'Donnell, for doing the same; see also Liberalis Limousini
• Sarah Brady of Handgun Control Incorporated speaks with forked tongue.
• The Violence Policy Center, which openly says it's going to lie
• Bill Clinton, which should be self-explanatory

 
 

Distinguished columnist Thomas Sowell on Rosie O'Donnell

From, "When self-protection is the issue, gun control advocates show their hypocrisy," Wilkes-Barre Times-Leader, 6/3/2000

"Rosie O'Donnell is only the latest liberal to be vociferously in favor of gun control for other people-- and yet ready to use firearms for their own protection. Others have included columnist Carl Rowan and Adolph Ochs Sulzberger of the New York Times, whose newspaper has been 200 percent behind gun control laws for years."

"Rosie O'Donnell has hired a security guard to protect her young son and the guard has applied for a gun permit. ... Why is it more important for Rosie O'Donnell's son to have armed protection than for a black youth, or other people living in high-crime neighborhoods, to have armed protection? Here is the same 'do as I say, not as I do' hypocrisy found among liberals who want to prevent other people from exercising the same school choice that they exercise for their own children."

..."When gun-control advocates throw around figures about how many children are killed by guns, they don't tell you that most of these 'children' are teenage gangsters, not little kids who find loaded guns around the home."
 
 

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