Will strict gun control laws protect Joan and Richard from

The Mugger?

Joan and Richard were concerned about crime, and they had wanted to buy a gun for self-protection. The problem was, they lived in Chicago, which outlaws possession of handguns. This fits well with Handgun Control Incorporated's goal of "keeping guns out of the wrong hands." The mugger didn't have a gun. Maybe the gun law deterred him from trying to buy one, but he could have probably bought one from another criminal, or stolen one. It didn't matter, though, because he was in his late teens and Joan and Richard were in their seventies.

He shoved Richard to the ground. Joan screamed and ran for the house to call the police. The mugger was, of course, much faster. He grabbed her from behind and threw her onto the sidewalk, hard. As Richard began to get up to protect his wife of fifty years, the mugger kicked him in the face, broke his jaw, and knocked out several teeth. As Richard lay half-stunned, the mugger went through his pockets, pulled out his wallet, and put it into his own pocket. Joan lay on the sidewalk screaming; she had early-stage osteoporosis and the fall had broken her hip. The mugger searched her as well, but she had left her purse in the house and he didn't want to spend more time to look for it, not with his two victims lying in their own front yard. He ran.

Richard staggered into his house and called the police. He could talk only with great difficulty, but the emergency line traced the call and the dispatcher sent a patrol car. The officer arrived fifteen minutes later and, when he saw what had happened, he called an ambulance. Joan was taken to the hospital for hip-replacement surgery, and Richard had to go to an oral surgeon for extensive dental reconstruction work.

Richard realized that the mugger had his credit cards and driver's license, and he was afraid the mugger might come back. After all, the mugger knew he was dealing with two relatively well-off senior citizens. When the oral surgeon had finished with his first appointment, Richard looked for a gun dealer, but there were none in the city. He drove out to the suburbs and found a gun dealer. "I want to buy a gun."

"Sorry, Sir, you live in Chicago. It's illegal for me to sell you a gun."

Richard called the police and asked them about this. "That's right, Sir, it's illegal for you to buy a handgun if you live in Chicago."

"My wife and I were attacked today, and I'm afraid the mugger might come back!"

"Well, that's too bad, the law is the law. Mayor Daley is, in fact, trying to sue downstate gun stores for selling guns that find their way into the city. We'll send a patrol car past your house a couple of times a night."

Richard couldn't sleep that night. At about three in the morning, he heard someone working on his back door. The door gave way, and Richard picked up the phone and dialed 911.

The intruder charged up the stairs and into the bedroom. He grabbed the terrified senior citizen by the throat and said, "Look, Pops, I'll break every bone in your body unless you give me your valuables right now." Richard had no choice but to nod agreement. He handed over his other wallet, the gold watch his company had given him as a retirement gift, and Joan's diamond wedding ring. "Don't worry, Pops, your insurance will pay for it, won't it?" The mugger knew his victim might have called the cops, so he got out quickly. He was two blocks away when the patrol car arrived.

Sorry: your decision got our citizens maimed, and the mugger is still at large. It doesn't matter too much, because this is only a story, but consider this. Limousine liberals like Dianne Feinstein, Charles Schumer, and Ted Kennedy are passing legislation that gets real people maimed or killed. They want you to believe that their gun control laws are making the country safer for you and for "the children," but they're really making it safer for people like The Mugger. The Kennedys, Feinsteins, and so on have armed bodyguards, or they use their power and influence to get pistol permits. Since they're the lords of the manor, the nobility, the upper class liberal elite, the aristocracy, their lives are (by their standards) more important and worthy of protection than yours.
 

Senior citizen Joan needed hip replacement surgery thanks to the mugger and Chicago's gun control laws. Husband Richard needed extensive dental reconstruction work. Here are some possible private thoughts and comments by prominent gun control supporters about the mugging:	Bill and Hillary Clinton: have round-the clock protection by the Secret Service (and previously by the Arkansas State Police) Hillary: "It won't interfere with my New York carpetbagging, so who cares?" Bill: "I feel the victims' pain."	Dianne Feinstein (D-CA). Has a permit to carry a concealed pistol in California. Di Fi: "I suppose that's part of the price we have to pay to achieve a gun-free society."
Charles Schumer (D-NY): "The victims should be grateful that the mugger didn't have a gun! See, gun control works!"	Richard Daley Jr. (D-IL, Mayor of Chicago): "I hope the victims weren't Democrats!"

Try again?

The Stentorian

Stock photo (C) Corel Corporation. Its use here does not imply the anonymous surgical team's endorsement of any political position. Clinton photo is from IMSI Master Clips.